Lessons I Learn From Women #4: Cindy Kennedy "Anything Is Possible"

I'm hoping I do justice to the lovely Cindy Kennedy who I first met back in 1997 in Hamilton. Cindy was a sales rep at Radioworks Waikato and all slim and beautiful and stylish. We didn’t really have a lot to do with each other at first, and then she came to my rescue after my first real relationship ended and I was absolutely devastated.  I don’t whether I ever told Cindy but she taught me that ‘Anything Is Possible’ when I was at absolute rock bottom.  In short, Cindy kicked my ass, checked me out of 'Heartbreak Hotel' and helped me get on with it. I started to really enjoy life as a single woman in radio, in Hamilton for the first time in three years thanks to Cindy. 

We became good friends and when her relationship ended she moved into a very cool little flat on her own that was really tastefully decorated on a pretty tight budget. Lots of wine and vodka was drunk in that flat and many laughs were had and stories exchanged.  A few months later I moved to Auckland with work and we lost touch.

Fast forward to 2011 and through Facebook we regained contact and I caught up with Cindy in Wellington just before Christmas for dinner. She looked stunning and happy whilst being immaculately and stylishly groomed, whereas I had overdone it with a pink dress, heels and beat up leather jacket.

We had dinner and I listened in awe as my friend recounted her adventures of the last seven to eight years.

Cindy left NZ and moved to Sydney where she worked as a marketing rep for one of the radio stations. It wasn’t working out and so young Cindy took a punt and a job in real estate. At this stage she was counting pennies, living in a hostel-like situation and parking her beat up car around the corner so potential buyers wouldn’t see what she was driving when she was presenting Open Homes in posh suburbs. She moved up the chain fast and in her first year earned six figures, a few years later she brought her own home and last year she purchased a brand new, very sexy late model sports car.  However, despite her increasing wealth in life and success, she has the nous to stay humble and nonchalant about it all.

Cindy is now the most successful, independent self-made person I know.  This gal has had plenty of ups and downs in her life, and with Ms Cindy, it’s not how often you fall down, it’s how hard to kick your ass to get back up. Cindy works very, very hard, is an active philanthropist in many areas, is generous with her time, particular about who she spends time with and who she is friends with and most importantly, she takes time out for herself. She really looks after herself inside and out and actively attempts to be a better version of herself every day. Cindy has proven to me since I met her, that anything is possible, and even now as I struggle to find my way professionally, her words ring in my ears and I stand up and keep pushing forward. Cindy – you are an absolute inspiration, much aroha to you. 

Lessons I Learn From Women #3: Trudy Godwin "Know what you want and never give up believing you will get it."

This one is dedicated to the very beautiful Trudy Godwin. Trudy taught me to know what I want and never give up believing I will get it.  

I shall start at the beginning with the memorable introduction of Ms Trudy to Ms Tarsh.  It was Friday night, the night before Radio Awards at a waterfront bar in Auckland. Up walked Trudy looking all tall and beautiful in a top and jeans and seconds after we were introduced she leaned in and said to me, “Oops, I almost arsed over in these friggen heels, SO uncomfortable but god I love them…” and then she laughed and took one off to show me.  I was laughing with her and loved how candid and cool she was. However, I would later discover that whilst Trudy has great taste in shoes, she also possesses the smelliest feet of any woman I have ever known. Ever.

Everyone who meets Trudy – loves her instantly. She has that quality that makes you feel really important and you just want to spend as much time as possible with or around her, without it looking creepy or needy. In fact, I bumped into a guy recently who, after reminding me how we'd met, instantly asked about, “that really cool, cute brunette friend who you worked and hung out with”. Yes, after some five years of meeting Trudy, this guy still wanted to know if she was single and in town. (Trust me here Trudes, even if you were single, I would’ve lied.)

Trudy Godwin – emerald green eyes, brunette, loves rugby, Glee, working hard, laughing, High School fricken Musical, socialising, her family, friends and life in general.  She’s open and honest and she has this huge laugh that is quickly followed by a slap on the table or your arm.  There have also been the rare moments when I’ve also seen her very sad, because even this amazing woman has had her fair share of tough times, the sort of times that scar your heart and soul.  

However I have also seen (and tried to stop) her turn into a slightly cringy, wobbly mess in front of one All Black called Conrad Smith. I’m PRETTY sure she never practiced his surname after her first name, but it was getting close.

But it’s the lesson I learnt from Trudy that motivates me constantly and I doubt she even knows it.  We would often sit at an outside table, sipping our respective white wines in front of Hummingbird in Wellington, telling each other and the universe what we REALLY wanted to do. I wanted to volunteer at Mother Teresa’s house in Calcutta and Trudy wanted to give it all up, move back to Hawkes Bay, live a rural life on her own or with someone, and if it happens, meet a great guy.

Well I’m saving to get to India this year, and almost two years ago after moving back to Hawkes Bay, and purely by coincidence, Ms Trudy met Mr Simon who makes her laugh, warmed her heart....and owns a farm.  Now, doesn’t that just make you smile and feel good? That, ladies and gentleman, is exactly how it feels to know the very wonderful Trudy Godwin. “Know what you want, and never give up on believing you will get it”.

Lessons I Learn From (Many) Women: #2 “We All Have An Inner Runner”.

Honourable mentions to Corinna Homer; Annie Case-Miller, Bel Crawford and the ladies behind Motivate Me. 

I’ve started running again. Yep, believe it or not I have. Now, let me be crystal clear here, I hate running. Loathe it even. My feet go numb, I occasionally have problems with my left calf seizing on me causing me to rub in the deep heat, and then five minutes later totally forgetting and rubbing my eye making it sting and water. I hate the way I assume people are judging me as a I plod along in my Nike T-shirt and ¾ black running tights.  And despite my very firm-fitted sports bra, I hate the way my boobs bounce even though I know that like every other female runner on the planet, most (okay, ALL) men will cop a squiz at them as they drive past anyway.  I hate meeting peoples eyes who pass me, so I wear my sunglasses, just so they don't see the pain I'm in. But I try to overcome these "hates" by whacking on my headphones and running to a motivating playlist that ranges from T-Rex and Muse, to Father MC and Rihanna.

Despite hating running with an absolute passion, I do love certain aspects about it.

1. First of all – it’s free, no monthly gym fee, no sweaty patches on machines or instructor yelling at you in aerobics class.
2. I really love the fact that running is a self-motivating exercise. It is you telling yourself to get up, get dressed, slap on the running playlist and get yourself out the door. It is you who tells you to keep going, urges you to run a little further, to go a little faster and it is only you who will get you from start to finish .
3. I love how proud I feel of myself while I’m out there and again as I reach the front door I left 50 minutes earlier, breathless, so proud and loving those endorphins wrapping me in a big hug of yellow. 
4. And I love the way other women always acknowledge you with a smile as they pass you either walking or running in the opposite direction. That sisterhood, that mutual smile we exchange that says, “Good on us, we’re doing it…”.   And we are. 

All of those woman I have encountered motivate me to keep going. I also will myself to keep going through the heat, wind, pain and puffing by a) picturing myself running the same route but in a much lighter, smaller running outfit; and b) thinking about a few ladies I know who embrace their inner-runner on a regular basis. 

Through good old Facebook, and the fact she is looking really incredible, I know my friend Corinna Homer is running via her Nike Run app on her phone that tells us when she’s out so we can send her a “cheers” as she pounds the North Shore pavements. Unless things have changed I’m PRETTY sure Bushie has a similar attitude as me towards running – but she manages to fit her runs in around her two children, demanding career and husband.

Anne-Marie Miller is certainly one of my heroes who looks absolutely amazing. She’s a long-time runner, and I watch her vicariously via Facebook as she runs under the scorching Perth sun – and now this woman has decided that body sculpting will be her goal for 2013 as she approaches 40. Annie is also a Mum, wife and career woman.

Bel Crawford – young, hip, successful….Bel runs in some ridiculously sweaty temperatures in Palmy – soon to change locations to the stunning Bay Of Plenty and puts 8k’s under her belt several times a week.  I only recently discovered Bel runs, but that motivates my inner-runner as well. 

And to the ladies behind Motivate Me on Facebook, thank you, because every, single day I get something from your page.

So, to all the ladies who have gotten off their arses, denied themselves that extra hour’s sleep in the morning or happy hour after work; the ladies who have grabbed those sneakers, pulled on the t-shirts long enough to cover their backsides and clicked shut the door behind them to set out on a run, to all of those sisters no matter how long or far you run, how round or thin, tall or short, fit or breathless you are….I hold up my five-year-old Nike running shoes and I salute you.  We all have an inner-runner hiding there somewhere, the trick is not to just get her out, and it’s to motivate her to keep going out until she actually starts to enjoy it.  Here’s hoping that one day that person is me.  

Lesson I Learnt From Women #1: 'Don't Sweat The Small Stuff".

Women. Ladies. Wahines. Gals. Chicks. The fairer sex.  We are strong, fierce characters who also have the fabulous ability to talk about anything from tampons and technology to rugby rules and Ruby Woo Mac Lipstick.  We hold our own in the boardroom and bedroom while juggling our families, careers, girlfriends, households, self-esteem, lifestyles and money. We cannot live without these great women, our sisters, our comrades in the clubs and confidante’s in the coffee houses.  This blog is to celebrate all the good women I have met and enjoyed the company of in my life. Whether they are old friends, related, acquaintances, old workmates, new workmates or someone I was only able to admire from afar, each one has had a very profound and lasting influence on my life, and through this blog, I hope they will have a positive influence on yours.

I met Mereana Faulkner quite a few years ago now when I was doing a promo in Whangarei for The Edge; she was the PD of the Radioworks office. (And later went on to be the GM.)  I liked her instantly.  She was straight-up, wise, beautiful, natural,  funny and very talented.

I was fortunate enough a few years later to attend her engagement party and subsequently her wedding to Jason. These days she is Mereana Hawthorn, working Mother of two gorgeous boys, wife of one brickears husband and friend to many.

Mereana is everything that we women want to be – amazing under pressure; glamorous in a casual way; loved by all and admired by many. I don’t think ego and Mereana go together at all, despite her numerous accolades over the years and amazing success in her career.

Most importantly, M has that natural, flawless ability to not sweat the small stuff. Even on her wedding day, which was another hot Northland one, Mereana was the calmest, coolest person in the place and I believe the ONLY one who wasn’t sweating. She was also cool, calm and collected when she hired the world’s hottest Nanny, blonde, slim, sexy. Instead of vetoing her because of her looks, Mereana hired her because of her amazing domestic skills and incredible chemistry with the children. How many of us would do that? You and I both know we’d hire the oldest, “curviest” Nanny on the list. She just doesn't sweat the small stuff. 

She has a big laugh that fills the room and makes you feel like Tina friggen Fay if she laughs at something you’ve said.  Whatever you do, you always want to get some sort of reaction from her because it’s always memorable.

Like the radio awards one year where she sent me from zero to hero in an instant.  This is back in the day the radio awards was a very swanky, glittering affair with drinks, ceremony then more drinks, dinner and dancing.

Both Mereana and I had been nominated but unfortunately that year neither of us gave acceptance speeches. We were consoling each other after the ceremony and heading to the dinner at Sky City when Lynley Sutherland (a former Radioworks GM to Mereana and someone I sort of knew) came over and we chatted. As we parted Lynley said, “Tarsha, you look just lovely this year in your black dress, it’s a good thing too because last year you looked like a hooker!” and she walked away. I instantly went bright red and felt really stink. Mereana burst into laughter and said, “Ohhh babe…I know it might not feel like it right now, and although Lynley is pretty straight up, she definitely meant that as a compliment. Besides, you do look really lovely.”  And with that we got on with it. I definitely avoided Lynley for the rest of the night, but I never sweated or moped on that comment thanks to Mereana. 

Over the years Mereana has had some sad moments, some great moments and several hundred hilarious ones in between. But she does it all with ease, grace and without breaking a sweat. If there were ever a poster girl for cool, calm and collected, Mereana would be the one on all of our walls.  Everything seems clearer, better, soulful, lighter and easy with Mereana in your life,  and everyone who knows her will agree. Mereana Faulkner, thank you. 

Lesson Thirty-One: Men Do Make Good Husbands and Housewives.

Ladies - here's a question for you. What is a good husband? Does one even exist? Allow me to introduce you to the man I believe is the world's best husband and I doubt he even knows it. I have a very good friend is who about to celebrate his 40th this month, a good friend whom I met 17 years ago at the New Zealand School Of Broadcasting in Christchurch. It was the very first day, all 70 or so of us met in the television studio and I saw him instantly and went and sat next to him. This tall smiling, Maori from Hawkes Bay wearing ORANGE knee-length denim shorts, a PURPLE hoodie and a really long ponytail. "Aaron Munro" he said as he introduced himself to me, "But my friends call me Goose".

Me: "What should I call you?"
Aaron: "A cab if I need one..." and he cracks up at his own joke.
Me: "You need to sharpen those wits Goose", and we've been friends ever since.

Goose loves orange and purple.....separately and as you saw me describe, together. And he could carry them off as well - I mean who's going to question the fashion of a tall Maori, in white-country Christchurch with a ponytail?

We spent two years studying together, drinking together (he used to drink 'Flame' beer by the box back then) and are still friends today.

Goose is the epitome of what we gals desire in a husband. I'm assuming here, but when a bride stands at the altar and says, "I do" to her betrothed, she wants a strong, protective, loving man who can laugh with her, support her, learn and grow with her and unconditionally love her.

That is what Goose does every day with his wife Grace. He is as in love with her today as he has ever been and it's been over a decade since they were married. They have experienced a lot together including Grace's recent, very serious health concerns. Goose was and remains at her side every step of the way. He's never questioned, never judged, never said a bad or nasty word against her, but is also not afraid to show how in love he is with her, and how they are best friends. They laugh, they talk about everything, he listens, he knows she loves Facebook and can and will spend two hours talking to her sister on the phone and he never gets upset or anise.  He is great around the house, very domestic and I'd go so far to say he's the brown, male version of Martha Stewart.

I can go around to their house and talk about anything and everything and despite the rolling eyes (Goose) and laughs at my expense (again, Goose), I feel great just being around these two.

So Ladies, the next time your husband pisses you off, or that guy you've been dating turns out to be an absolute tool....never fear that things aren't going to get better. Don't soak in cynicism and think, "All men are idiots" because Goose is proof that all men aren't, and if there is one Goose out there, there's bound to be hundreds more. (PS Goose before you start to get all 'Billy T' on me, remember it takes a pretty great woman to make a good man, excellent.)