Lesson One: No Matter How Embarrassing The Moment Is, At Least The Cute Guy Noticed You.

I’ve been infatuated, frustrated, fascinated and amused by men since I was five years old – in short, for the last 35 years.

They’ve loved me, broken my heart, embarrassed me, made me laugh, angry, blush and drink copious amounts of wine. But, they've taught me invaluable lessons so I'm going to tell you all about every man who has affected me as a woman, a dater, a cynic and a lover of the our testosterone friends. Of course I haven't asked their permission and none of them will  have any idea about the lasting affect they've left or even remember who I am...until they read this. Of course,  their male ego’s will be stroked and they will earmark every page they’re mentioned on. But before they start reaching for the preverbial beer and double clicking their own mouse….I never promised too only mention the good things.

It started when I had just turned five, living in Caughley Crescent in Waiouru. My older sister Michelle (then 7) and I got up early, even before our parents and got ourselves reading for school.

We grabbed our lunch Mum had made the night before and trotted off, up the road we walked, not even talking to each other because in our family, we barely spoke making for two very shy girls.

Two minutes up the road and I spot a boy from our school skateboarding towards us and I thought, “There’s that cute boy from our school, skateboarding towards us”.  He got right up to us and my sister staunchly went to march past but he stopped in front, kicking up his skateboard and saying ,”Where are you girls off too”. I was so fascinated and pleased that he actually spoke to us I boldy said in my loudest voice, “We’re going to school!” and I said it in a way that meant, “We’re going to school you dork, where did you think we were going” . To which the cute boy with the skateboard replied, “Uhhhh, it’s Saturday!” and he started laughing as he skateboarded off.  I went bright red of course as I turned around and walked the few metres back to our house with my very sullen sister, but I thought, “Wow, that cute boy actually spoke to us” before the embarrassment of going to school on a Saturday even entered my head.

Boy One: Cute boy on skateboard, aged 5.