Lesson Thirty: Get Off Your Arse And Make Lemonade.

Everyone needs a Trevor in their life.

Trevor West isn't someone who is really close to me - he's definitely
someone I would love to have in my life every day if I could. I met Trevor through some mutual great friends we have and have had the chance on a few occasions to knock back a few drinks and have some laughs. (It's fair to say that I probably had a bit of a fleeting crush during one of those meetings.)

I have always wanted to be that person that left a lasting mark on someone - in a positive way. (Er,  not a physical way like on their face or bedsheets!) And I fondly remember men who have come in and out of my life and really made me think or feel. Trevor is one of those guys.

When I was made redundant last November it was as though I was diagnosed with some weird flesh-eating disease. Noone knew what to say to me, so they either politely ignored me apart from a nod of the head as they walked past or even worse, a pat on the head.  (NB: Apart from my Father who was the first person I called when I opted to step out of my 16 years in radio. (Love you Dad!)

One or two weeks into my "new life" I got this amazing email from Trevor. He lives in Sydney, Australia, is in a wonderful and loving relationship with a pretty solid, great paying job that he was pretty damn good at. Trev emailed to say he was enjoying my blog, and that, like me,  he had been made redundant six weeks prior. I felt a huge sense of relief that something so shit was actually happening to someone else, and someone I really rated. Then instead reading words like, "So Tarsh, I know just how you feel, chin up old girl...." this random but well timed email went on to say, "It's probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Off to Nepal tomorrow for a hike for three weeks."


And off he went - just a few weeks shy of Christmas, Trevor waved goodbye to his long-term partner, and went to Nepal where he grew a beard and dug his own toilet. Without even realizing it, Trevor inspired me to get off my arse and turn lemon's into lemonade. Sure I didn't hike for weeks getting food poisoning and only showering a couple of times, but goddamnit I got my A into G.

It's those unexpected heroes that come into my life that make such a difference on how I see things. I've long been the girl that has looked after herself and trusted that I will know exactly what to do. But you know, sometimes if you really want it, that help comes along wearing a cowboy hat and a big smile and doesn't use the word "advice".  The Boyfriend joked recently that I sort of stumble along in my own way but I get there in the end. And unfortunately I do go through experiences like it's my first time on heels - but eventually I get that catwalk strut that I need to get it done and swim around in my homemade lemonade - and one day I'll share a glass with Trevor.

Lesson Twenty-Nine: Think (Tarsh) Before You Speak.

Thinking before you speak - I really thought I was starting to nail this concept as I got older. I was wrong.

Steve Joll - devoted husband, loving and proud father-of-three, baker, gym-bunny, really genuine good guy, and breakfast radio guy on The Breeze.  To this day, I still cringe when I think about what happened. (I bet he's racking his brain trying to figure out where this is going.)

I first met Steve Joll several years ago during one of the annual Radio Bootcamps. (i.e.: you have a few hours with a radio consultant and then a night out with endless grog talking crap and banging ego's with radio announcers from around the country. Ahhh - those were the days!)  I was sitting at the bar and we started chatting and he goes, "Sorry who are you?" I went, "Oh, um, Tarsh" he goes, "Ahh from the Edge, yeah I've heard you - you're pretty good eh?".  And not in a greasy way, in a really genuine way and I knew who he was so I was chuffed. Years later I moved to Mediaworks Wellington where Steve was also based and realized pretty quickly what a big deal he is in this town - without begin a jerk about it.  I remember the time I was heading into the city to meet up with him and some other friends for a few drinks, I'm running late and forced to sprint for the bus in my pink high heels and there's Steve's face in full glory on the back of it. He thought it was hilarious when I told him later on - Tarsh rarely chases any men.

Steve is one of those guys who will always help you out and one of those people I always wanted to leave with a good impression of myself. Major fail, here's what happened.

Steve had the same morning pre-show routine. Takes his shoes off as soon as he gets to work and pads around in his socks, has a cup of tea and that Kellog's Crunch for breakfast.

So one morning we're both in the kitchen - it's like 5AM and I'm on my second cup of coffee so got a nice buzz going. We're talking about a politician getting a stomach stapling operation and I'm shooting my mouth off - it went something like this.

Me: "Yeah - I can't believe that Tariana Tuira is getting her stomach stapled...!!"
Steve: "Mmmmm...."
Me: "I mean - why the heck do we need to pay for someone who just ate too many pies??"
Steve: ".....uh-huh. Poo..." sniffs the milk "Someone left this milk out again....geez I dunno..."
Me: (not getting that he's trying to change the subject) "Yesterday on air we at talked about having to fund her stomach stapling operation and do you know what I said?"
Steve:  Silent apart front the spoon going around and around in his cup of tea.
Me: "I go, you know what Tariana Turia - I have two words for you. Running Shoes!" And I cracked up.
Steve: Looks at me and goes, "Um...she's my Aunt."
Me: "Whatever Steve..."
Steve: "Tariana Turia is my Aunt. Honestly."
Me: "Oh.......sorry man......" but still not sure if he's having me on or not.
Steve: "It's okay, just thought I better tell you before you went any further..."
And he picked his bowl of cereal and cuppa and walked out.
I felt so stink. I went all warm and started sweating. Damnit I'd done it again.

And to be honest, I have no idea whether he was telling the truth or not, but I've never made a joke about Aunty Tariana Turia again.