Lesson Twenty One: Don't Hint With Men, Be Direct.

We girls are all guilty of this. Hinting to men in our lives instead of telling them exactly what we want. Men Do Not Get Hints!!! 

Example. Younger brother 18 is getting up to go to the toilet.

Him: “Anyone want anything?”

Me: “Yeah, wouldn’t mind a drink if you’re going through the kitchen”.  

He returns with one beer, which he opens and drinks.

Me: “Errr – where’s my beer?”

Him: “You said if I was going through the kitchen, I didn’t, this was in the chilli bin in the laundry”.

He’s a bit of a smartarse who made a valid point. I needed to be clearer and say, “Yeah, can you grab me a beer please. Thanks”.

Another example, this time involving The Boyfriend.

I come back from the shower; he’s still in bed and gets up to use the bathroom.

Me: “Hang on I’ll just make the bed.”

Him: “Where’s my towel?”.

Me: “I dunno, I’m making the bed”. (I'm thinking, “Can’t you see I’m making the bed and how you should naturally help me?”)

Him: “Oh here it is…..”  and off he goes to the shower.

The Boyfriend returns and the bed is all made.

Me: “Why didn’t you help me make the bed?”

Him: “You said’ hang on, I’ll make the bed’. I pulled my side of the duvet up. You never asked me to help you make it”.

Again, the male had a goddamn point. So from now on it’s, “Baby, would you help me make the bed please?”

A wise man once told me that to get a man to do what you want, you use ‘would’ instead of ‘could’. E.g.: “Would you please take out the rubbish” not, “Could you please take out the rubbish”. Apparently when a man hears, “Could” he thinks, “I COULD, but I’m not going too” whereas when the word “Would” is used, he hears a polite request plus there’s no real comeback to it.

Here’s another reason why you need to tell a man exactly what you want. Check out what happened with my friend and her husband.

Him: “Off to the Supermarket – want anything?”

Her: “Surprise me”.

He returns and unpacks the groceries while she sits there, waiting to see what he got her.  He finishes and goes to walk away.

Her: “Hey – what did you get me?”

Him: “Sorry?”

Her: “My surprise – where is it.”

Him: “Well I didn’t know what to get you and it was really busy, so I didn’t bother. Surprise!”

In his mind he didn’t do anything wrong but it took her about three days to see it.  So from now on she always tells him what to get for her.

So, while we’d love our men to read our minds and know exactly what we want and when we want it, they can’t. And trust me – swap the “could” with “would” when you want your guy to do something – it’s subtle but it works.