Lesson Seven: Men Are Loyal - Especially Your Brother.

One of my favourite men is Arama Tolson. Tall, long curly hair, green eyes and one of the wittiest guys I know. He is my younger and only brother – recently turned 18. We have the same Father and different Mother, but to be honest I regard all my siblings as full family regardless of how we’re actually related.

As a kid Arama was a real Mummy’s boy and a bit of a crybaby to be fair. Something he’ll staunchly deny now, but as his sister, I watched him aged six, cry when I offered him spaghetti instead of baked beans!! He’s grown into an amazing man – strong, kind, sensitive, very witty and he doesn’t suffer fools.  Arama reminds me of Dad – a lot. He doesn’t follow the pack - people naturally gravitate towards him wherever he is – me being one of them.

Earlier this year I spent my first summer as a single girl and hung out with the family in Papamoa for a week.  In two separate cars we drove to see more family over the Kaimai’s in Hamilton.  I’m driving along and Arama and I are chatting away about life, family and relationships when the questions hit.

Arama: “Tarsh…..can I ask you something?’.

Me: “…Yessssss”.

Arama: “No offence but, Why don’t you have any children?”

Me: “Do you think I should have some?”

Arama: “I don’t know, I just wondered why you haven’t. I reckon you’d make a good Mother”.

Me: “Well I haven’t been in a solid enough relationship to have children. I did talk about it with Scott, but then we broke up so, it’s never happened. Does that make sense”?

Arama: “Yeah I guess. “

Brief silence followed before....

Arama: “Tarsh….can I tell you something?”

Me: “Yes Boss” (my nickname for him.)

Arama: “No offense but.....I’m glad you broke up with Scott….”

Me: “Why’s that?”.

Arama: “He wasn’t that nice to you, plus I reckon he looked like a bit of a dufus”.

Me: “Ohhh….thanks Boss…..I guess”.

Arama is staunchly loyal to everyone he’s close too. A trait I really admire in him because I know he has our backs and I know I can trust him. So I told him last week I was seeing someone after being single for 18 months…

Arama: “Is he ready for Dad. Ha-ha”.

Me: “Yeah, I’ve warned him. Hey, he can bench-press 80kg”. (Now I told him this because Arama regularly works-out, plus The Boyfriend is pretty proud of it.)

Arama: “80kg? I’m half his age and I can do 140 – I have no time for anyone under 100”.

Me: “So, I guess spotting each other is out of the question then”.

Arama: “Definitely, I have no patience for sissy’s”.

I’m looking forward to the day they meet, Arama's opinion means a lot.  Suffice to say The Boyfriend is going hard out at the gym to get close to bench-pressing 140 kg.