Dad. Former Sergeant Major in the NZ Army, brown hair, green eyes and quiet guy who doesn’t talk for the sake of it, but he’s very quick-witted and wise when it comes to men.
Someone mentioned that they pictured Billy T James when they imagined my Father. Dad is a pakeha from Canterbury. Bless him though he tried hard to change that – often lying on the stretcher in the sun for hours and hours at a time, I’m not kidding. And then he’d go as bright as a lobster, be in pain for two days and go straight back to white again. I’m a half-cast so naturally olive all year round which used to quietly frustrate Dad. But he did nail it when it came to boys and my experiences over the years.
Surprisingly Dad offered great advice when it came to boys. I say it was a surprise, as we didn’t often have heart-to-hearts about relationships. But throughout my life he often proved right with his theories.
At nine-years-old I was playing bull-rush after school, soccer and roller-skating down Badminton Terrace with the boys. I’d come home and have grazed knees and ripped clothing.
Dad, “Tarshie, I don’t think you should be coming home with ripped clothes and dirty knees like this. Why are you playing with the boys getting all dirty, what’s wrong with you?”
Me: “I don’t want to play with the girls – all they do is talk about boys”.
Dad: “Fair enough. Just don’t beat the boys all the time, they won’t want you in their team anymore. Let them win sometimes so they can still enjoy it”.
Aged 15.
Me: “Dad this boy I like at school likes someone else even though he said he wanted to go around with me. He rejected me and I feel stink”.
Dad: “Tarshie, for every boy that rejects you, there are ten boys that you reject without even knowing it”.
Age 18 and about to go on a date with a guy my Father had never met.
“I’m not interested in meeting any boys Tarshie until you’re serious about them. Now get out there and have a good night, don’t let him get out of his car and come to the door”.
Aged 36, and about to get my heart broken.
Dad: “Tarshie, let me tell you. Drink doesn’t help and I told you that guy was a no-hoper from the start. You’ll be all right. Do you want me to call him?
Me: “Errrr, no…..What would you say to him”.
Dad: “I’d say, hey you no-hoper, stop mucking my daughter around and get your shit together!”.
I never let Dad call that guy, but Dad had the last word when he said, “You’re better off without him Tarshie, trust me on that”.
Suffice to say that particular guy and I are better off without each other. But it’ll be interesting to see what my Father thinks of The Boyfriend when they meet in the next few weeks.
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